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| BBHQ Boomer Essays: |
| Our Boomer-In-Charge here at BBHQ, Hershel Chicowitz, writes frequently about current events... from a boomer perspective. He is sometimes funny, sometimes provocative, sometimes a little of each. We hope you get a kick out of our Boomer Essays. |
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Fever - Peggy Lee
Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bear
I was touched and heartened by the people who sent me get-well wishes last week as I struggled with the flu. That was very kind of you. Thank you very much.
Kinda' makes me wish I was sick a little more often, doncha' know. It may be what I have to do to get the respect and attention I so richly deserve. I'll keep that in mind.
What am I thinking of? It was awful!! It was terrible! This should never happen to anyone! Anyone!
Well, maybe the former chairman of Enron, perhaps.
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I guess it was just a case of the flu, though there is hardly any such thing as just a case of the flu. For those of you who have been flu-free, the flu is not just like a cold, only more. A cold is the sniffles, fever, headache, sore throat and maybe an upset stomach. With the flu, those symptoms are secondary. You don't even care about those minor distractions, though they are often present. The flu is feeling like you got hit by a 4-ton truck... like you got caught between Senator Tom Daschle and a TV camera... like you got caught in the middle of a Mike Tyson press conference. A cold is allowing the mail to collect in the box for a day to two. A flu is agonizing about whether you're gonna' get out of bed when the space heater sets the curtains on fire. (I did; but only after the curtains were a total loss, and only 'cause the bedroom was unbearably hot.) |
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When you have a cold, you worry about work piling up at the office. When you have the flu, you don't care if there IS an office. When you have a cold, the dog may get fed a little late. When you have the flu, the dog had better know how to operate the electric can opener, or the dog is not going to eat.
Ev'rybody's got the fever
that is something you all know
Fever isn't such a new thing
Fever started long ago
When you have a cold, you struggle through back-to-back episodes of "Jeopardy" and an hour of Oprah sobbing on the air over her latest book selection. It's TV; it's distracting; it passes the time. When you have the flu, you do not care if Martha Stewart is having sex with Dan Rather on the anchor desk at CBS News; You're not gonna' watch it. (It was a pretty neat dream, though... but I don't wanna' go there today.)
I guess part of the problem is that I am usually so healthy that being sick seems like a big deal. I am the guy who, from third through 12th grades, missed only two days of school due to illness. Believe me, what I had last week was a big deal.
When I was in fourth grade, the chicken pox was going around. My sister got it right after Thanksgiving. I barricaded myself in my bedroom every day after school not wanting to catch her pox cooties. My parents even let me eat dinner in my bedroom... a practice which, by the way, continues to this day. It worked, too; I held the pox germies at bay. But on the Friday before school let out for the Christmas break, I noticed a small splotch on my forehead. I went to school anyway. Mission accomplished.
Of course, I was sick as a dog right through Christmas day, but....
And I am, I'm afraid, the typical male, when it comes to being sick. I whine, I complain; the slightest thing bothers me enormously, and nothing can console me. I am absolutely miserable to be around. I admit it. But I just think of it as the male version of PMS. I allow myself his one huge weakness. Though, there was no one around to either listen to me complain or console me. Princess spent most of the week figuring out how to operate the electric can opener.
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night.
Sunday afternoon I scanned through my roloxdex looking for someone to call to share the misery; I added Dr. Jack Kevorkian's number to the speed-dial on my phone, though I never got close to punching that particular button. It was comforting to know the option was there, nonetheless.
I did feel terrible!
Tuesday morning I called my doctor's office and begged for an early appointment. Apparently I was not the only one. The appointments secretary warned me to stay away. She said that the waiting room was like a morgue; it was her little joke. Honey, "morgue" is not the word you want to use to a guy with a 104-degree temperature. So this is the fine health care insurance for which I am paying $120 a month?
So I suffered alone... though hardly in silence. It is amazing the number, variety, and volume of noises your body can make when you are sick. 'Nuf said on that topic.
Climbing up from the Abyss
I knew it was time to go back to work when I ran out of handkerchiefs. Now... I am an old, former Boy Scout. I am prepared. I know from my Tenderfoot days that you cannot have too many plastic bags or too many handkerchiefs. I got a ton of 'em. But when I reached into the drawer on Friday morning and saw that I had only three handkerchiefs left... it was time.
I recovered; I got on with life.
Martha Stewart is going river-rafting in Washington state this week. She's gonna' have to do it without me. My Martha-watching days are over for this decade, even is she does have sex with Dan Rather.
I am back to counting my blessings.
It feels so good to feel normal.
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If you like what we're doing here at BBHQ, please help us by buying stuff through our link to Amazon.com:
| The BBHQ Album of the Month is "Old Friends Live on Stage (Deluxe Edition) (2 CD/1 DVD)," by Simon & Garfunkel. If you were fortunate enough to see them in concert last year, I do not have to sell you. The concert was terrific! This album collection includes 55 songs, plus their new recording, "Citizen of the Planet," and one of the songs sung by the Everly Brothers during the concert. The DVD was recorded during their concert in Madison Square Garden in 2003. For any S&G fan, this is a must have! But then, you knew that already, didn't you? |
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The BBHQ Book of the Month is
"Vinyl Highway," by
Dee Dee Phelps. You remember her as Dee Dee, of Dick and Dee Dee.
Together, they took a decade long ride on the rock and roll roller
coaster. It was a heck of a ride! Dick Clark, Quincy Jones, the Beach
Boys, Glenn Campbell, Dionne Warwick, Bobby Vinton... Dick and Dee Dee
rubbed shoulders with all of them. This is her "behind the scenes" story.
It's pretty cool.
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